My Very Own Mobile- Hug Dispensing- Vending Machine.
You recently turned 2.9 years old. You’re almost 3! And honestly I am freaking out. Where did the time go? I spend almost every waking moment with you and I still feel like you’re growing up faster than I would like. I try and squeeze in as much of this contentment as I can into every corner of my heart.
The highlight of our days is you and Daddy playing boisterously each evening once he gets back from office. Your happy squeals fill our home with an elation that was unfamiliar to us before you arrived. Now we wonder how we ever got by without them! I am usually busy getting the dinners ready but I keep my camera handy and record every silly thing you guys do. Daddy thinks I am being crazy. But often when you go to bed I watch those videos late at night and I can’t believe how entertaining being a mom is and how lucky I am to be able to spend my days with you. I want to be able to hold on to these moments as hard as I can and for as long as I can.
Your new favorite book is Where the Wild Things Are. You walk around with your “terrible claws” out and say “Roar! I’ll eat you up” and when I ask you “Are you a wild thing?” you chuckle and reply “I am mumma’s wild thing.” Nevertheless, if truth be told you are anything but a wild thing. You are the opposite of a wild thing. You are the kind of 2.9 year old who says “excuse me” after she sneezes. You are the kind of 2.9 year old who reminds me “Mumma you didn’t say-bless you.” when a stranger sneezes on the elevator. You are such a proper young toddler that sometimes you seem like a miniature adult.
It also amazes me how kind you are. You feel empathy for just about every wild animal, critter, bug, bee or baby. You get that from you granddad. Every living thing you see, you “want to take home.” You even have it all planned out. You intend to share your toys, give them a bath and read to them. Not necessarily in that order. The fact that you haven’t actually bought any of the above home- as yet, is something that makes me go “whew” every single evening. But I do admire how attuned you are with the world around you. How in touch you are with the emotional states of those around you.
Today I sat there glumly on the sofa lost in my own thoughts while you played. I guess I was a little preoccupied, I guess I must’ve been upset. Maybe I was just tired. Whatever it was that I was feeling- You sensed it! You came over and stroked my arm, you placed yourself in my lap and kissed me ever so gently on my cheek and you said “It’s OK mumma, I kiss you and make it all better.” You permitted me to burrow my face in your tiny body and gave me all the love that I needed in that moment to make me feel restored. It makes me feel like I have my very own mobile- hug dispensing- vending machine.
Connected seems like a very mild word about how I feel to you, but that is just what we are. This mysterious, epochal and visceral “bond” between a mother and child that they talk about is something that seems so intuitively simple to me now. The idea of an entity who lives and breathes and is so in tune with my sentiments that she can just walk up to me and hug my blues away is nothing short of a miracle in my mind.
And all this while, I have been thinking that I’m the one that does all the taking care of round here. Thank you so much for being there- all the time- just for me.