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I hate that question!

reddit I hate that question!twitter I hate that question!tumblr I hate that question!pinterest I hate that question!stumbleupon I hate that question!

You know that one, the one asked by women who actually “do” something. SO what is it that you do? It’s also sometimes followed by a snarky, “Really, I would just go mad sitting at home”

First let me clarify one thing! What is the opposite of a “working mom?” Sleeping mom? Snoring mom? Snoozing mom? Just cause I am a stay at home mom, does not mean I sit around the house doing nothing. And second, the expectations of a stay at home mom are sky high. I am the go-to cook, chauffeur, patcher upper and general fixer of anything that goes on around the house. This is my realm and I run a tight ship!

Stay at home moms don’t have the time to sit around filing their nails. I mean really when was the last time you just sat there, just sat there are did absolutely, totally nothing? Sitting while folding laundry does not count. It is called house”work”, isn’t it?

I resent it when people think that it is fine to pass judgment about our lifestyle choices. To assume that I am lazy or uneducated because I chose to stay home and raise my child is just plain ridiculous. And yet I see it time and again.

I am not against women who go out and work. I was raised by a working mother and I love the kind of upbringing I have had. At some point I might probably do the same but often I am faced with examples that reinforce my decision for right now.

I was at the library with Gia, and we were picking out some books after story time. There is a nanny that I have seen on most of the days. She was there on that day too. And as usual she was uninterestedly stuffing food into the child’s mouth while she was reading on her ipad. It just broke my heart. Not for the kid, but for the mom. What would she feel like if she knew? Would she approve?

I say this because no meal time at my home is without a literal song and dance routine. Gia looks forward to mommy singing those silly songs. And mommy sure as hell will cherish those memories forever.

So go on judge me, but I am just fine that I am here for my daughter when she needs me. I am here to watch my child grow up. This is not some sacrifice I am making for Gia mind you. This is something that we (yes Daddy approves) decided together.

We waited for 5 years to bring her into the world. We will not wait one more moment to enjoy every single one that we can with her.

My point is being a mom is work. Inside the house, outside the house how does it matter? So leave the judging aside and get back to, yea you’re right WORK icon smile I hate that question!

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5 Comments Post a comment
  1. Nisha #

    Love this post Shef! I am sure so many moms will relate to this one. I sure as hell do!

    October 24, 2012
  2. Atika #

    This post reminded me of a scenario from the soap “up all night” where this working mom is being judged ( and criticisized) in the exact same light. While their are compromises either ways, we have at the end of the day made our choices and are doing our best for the little ones within the confinements of our dreams, our hopes and our vision of a future for them as well as ourselves. Great read Shefs!

    October 24, 2012
  3. While I do get that either way has its own compromises, I just want people to stop judging me. Its annoying when they think they know better than I do! Thanks ladies, we moms gotta stick together :)

    October 25, 2012
  4. Judy #

    I don’t for one second doubt that stay at home moms work and work hard. In fact, y’all do work that I don’t want to do.

    I do question my childless friends who stay at home all day though and maybe even childless strangers if the conversation fell that way. It wouldn’t be a judgement though, it would be more of what the heck DO you do all day? Paint? Write novels? Clean obsessively? Watch TV? Seriously, daytime TV? Walk the dog? Take drugs? What? That’s a lot of time to fill up. I’m just nosy. Really. Not judgmental.

    October 25, 2012

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