Five New Arguments With My Toddler Today
Have you ever felt like your toddler acts all Jekyll and Hyde- esque with you? One moment- they’re being all sweet and adorable and then from nowhere, where you’re least expecting it- BAM! You’re in the middle of the Target parking lot in an argument (that you’re losing) and it’s with your two year old.
Parenthood needs to come with a manual. And one of the things that it should talk about is how much of my time would be spent arguing, negotiating, bribing, proposing and being rejected. All these power struggles seem very much part of the grown up world but are totally NOT since they happen with a two year old.
Remember I talked about the five arguments with my toddler? Well, here’s a list of new ones.
“This is my laptop” argument- Hell hath no fury like a toddler who sees her mom working on a laptop. I almost never see my daughter get jealous EXCEPT when I try and switch on my laptop. Gia will stop whatever she is doing, grab my laptop and say “NO this is my laptop and I need to send some emails.” If you don’t see me online as much- now you know why.
The “What time is it?” argument- She sweetly strolls into the room and asks “What time is it?” “It’s 8 o’clock” her mother unsuspectingly replies. “No it’s not! It’s B o’clock” Rinse and repeat this argument five times a day for “What time do you want to go to bed?” “At 51 o’clock.”
The “This is matching” argument- Somewhere along the line my two and a half year old has picked up the concept of “Matching or ordinating” (I think she means coordinating) her outfits. Did I just hear you so “How amazing?” only it isn’t! Because according to her “matching” means absolutely nothing is the same color. Some days this is fun and others not so much.
The “I want a cookie” argument- Ever tried asking your kid what she wants for a meal. I have, and here’s how it goes. “So what do you want for breakfast?” “A cookie!” “You can’t have a cookie for breakfast! What else do you want? “May I please have a cookie then?” “I JUST SAID YOU CAN’T HAVE A COOKIE.” “I want a cookie! Waaahhh” This show plays every breakfast, lunch and dinner folks. Get your tickets now!
The angry young toddler argument- Have you heard of the angry young toddler? There is one in every child and that toddler is angry for no reason whatsoever! “Let’s go outside.” “No I don’t want to go outside!” “I want a PBnJ sandwich.” “No I don’t want a PBnJ sandwich.” “I want to wear my pink dress today.” “No I don’t want I want to wear my pink dress today.” And I am not even invited to this argument!
I am wondering if the “we’re totally normal” still applies