Five Arguments With My Toddler Today
I’ve had an eventful Monday. Gia had her longest tantrum yet, we bickered and we almost didn’t make it to class but we did. She argued about going potty the whole time we were there and I was sure she would have an accident but she didn’t. For the past hour we have been debating over bedtime and she should be asleep while I type but she isn’t.
Overall my days are filled with arguing, a lot of arguing. Nothing strange with that really, except I am not an attorney, so this uncharacteristic behavior isn’t part of my job and I am arguing with a TWO year old. What’s more annoying is that they are the same arguments over and over again.
She eats the same five things over and over again. She wears the same five pink outfits over and over again, why should our fights be any different!
Top five arguments of today (Or any day really; the days change, the arguments don’t)
The “Let’s go outside” fight– Five microseconds after we shut the door, my daughter says “Let’s go outside” Why? WHY? Is the outside substantially better than everyplace else? Have you visited Seattle lately? Have you been outside! I assure you this is not where you want to be outside. At all, EVER!
The Potty Argument –Every single time I actually plant my butt in a chair at a restaurant, “I need to go” she says. “OK! Let’s go. Hurry” 10 minutes later “I need to go” “Again? You just went ten minutes ago! Let’s go anyways” 10 minutes later “I need to go.” By now the food is here and it’s gonna get cold and I really don’t want to “No you don’t! You just went 10 minutes ago.” “No I do, I want to go!” A cold meal or accidents in a restaurant, sure make for great battle odds! But this is what comes after potty training. I almost miss diapers.
The “Juice” fight – Juice, Juice, Juice! Let’s call it what it really is. Crack for toddlers. It gets them on that stupid sugar high, so they can run around doing god alone knows what! AND it rots their teeth. Gia asks for juice at least 5 times on any given day. She knows she is not going to get any so this is how she starts out asking “Excuse me, may I, can I have some juice please?” “Good job asking Gia, but no.” “Waaaaahhhh” Half hour later she comes back with “Excuse me, may I, can I have some juice please?” “No Gia! It’s not juice time yet.” “Waaaaahhhh” Rinse and Repeat 3 more times.
The “Can you read this book?” fight – this is the normal people version of “Can I watch that show?” fight. Since my daughter is not interested in TV, books are her best buddies. I know, I know, you’re probably thinking “Lady! That is a pretty sweet deal.” But let me tell you, you are wrong. Have YOU been forced to read a book, any book 8 times in a row? The phrase “Kill me now!” takes on a new meaning.
The “About nothing really” fight- These happen when something else is really going on. Like maybe she is too tired or too sleepy. “Can you please make this cookie square?” she asks “No, I can’t.” “But I say please!” tears welling up in her eyes “It’s not that I don’t want to, I just can’t do it.” “No do it now,now NOW! Waaaahh” You would think she understands that “defying the laws of physics” isn’t on my resume, but she really doesn’t.
So there you have it. We are totally normal right? Right?