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A Do Over

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Our weekend started early Friday evening when Daddy was home by 5 pm because of a cancelled meeting. We had a blast on Saturday too. We went out with some friends, enjoyed the last vestiges of fall and then there were the Diwali parties. We celebrated, we soaked in the last bit of fall sunshine and we had lots of fun.

But Sunday morning I woke up to a house that was a total mess. It was just one of those times when I would much rather be anywhere but here. And as he came home “early” on Friday, Daddy needed to go in to office and get some “work” done :)

I was fine with that, since it would literally take me hours to get stuff done around the house.

I had just loaded the dishwasher when Gia said “Mumma I do cookie (that’s what she calls cooking) Can you come over to have fun?”

“No! I am busy.”

She clung to my leg as I was walking around and said “But I making breakfast for lunch! And Froggie and Bunny coming too.”

But I didn’t have time for that! I needed to get some order in the house before my head would explode from how chaotic it all looked. So I said, “Can you quit following me around please?” And it came out much louder than I meant for it to.

She didn’t say much, just “Ok mumma, she play on her own now, she a big girl.”

It was one of those mommy moments where you want to kick yourself for being mean to your two year old. I got what I needed; to be left alone to do my chores, but I knew it wasn’t what I wanted at all.

As I was cleaning the mirror I looked at myself in that moment; I do get the irony about cleaning the mirror at that point. But I did and it gave me pause. Was this what mattered, right now at this instant? A neater house, folded laundry or cleaned dishes. Or was it playing with someone who wanted to have me over for cake and candy, making remembrances together – more so for me, than for her.

Fun times

I know she is two, she will probably not recall these moments- but I will. I know someday my house will be in perfect order all the time and there will be no one to cling to my leg and to scream for my attention. But I also know I will cherish and treasure the memories of that Sunday morning when I successfully ignored the mess around me and not my child.

Being a mom feels like a 24X7 job at times. Toddlers thrive in order, in knowing what comes next so I have to follow a schedule every day that is not mine. And it becomes just a little bit harder to carve some time out of the day for myself. To do things that I want to do. I talk to my mother about this often. About how frustrating it gets when I need to do something and it takes twice as long because I am not left alone to do it. And she always says “learn to live in the moment, they never come back.” And I agree with her- it’s absolutely true.

Moments are fleeting- all of them, the good ones and the bad ones. Learning to live in them is the best gift we can give ourselves and those around us.

So we didn’t have cake and candy (which by the way is my favorite pretend food) we had scrambled eggs and toast because we were having “breakfast for lunch”. And that day I wasn’t the mom with the cleanest house but I sure was the fun-est mom.

24 Comments Post a comment
  1. You are such a good mom! I love reading the stories about your daughter and everyday trials and tribulations.

    November 7, 2013
    • Awww that is so sweet Tara. Thank you for the vote of confidence :)

      November 7, 2013
  2. Nupur #

    What a lovely post! I enjoyed reading your blog and was smiling and nodding in agreement. You write so well!

    November 7, 2013
    • Thank you for you kind words Nupur. Glad you enjoyed reading :)

      November 8, 2013
  3. Ahhh…who wants a clean house, when you have those tiny little hands to hug you all the time. :-) But it indeed is true that we should live the moment. Time gone, never comes back.

    November 8, 2013
    • Well I don’t want to clean the house regardless, but that is another blog post I guess :)

      November 8, 2013
  4. I Was so touched by this and love that pic. Kisses to ur daughter. May she cling to ur leg and ask endless favors ;)
    god bless

    November 8, 2013
  5. Fab #

    I’ve got a huge mess in the kitchen waiting for me as I read this, and I am dreading it. I completely get what you’re saying :-)

    November 8, 2013
    • Isn’t there a huge mess always waiting in the kitchen? Much better to read blog posts, I agree!

      November 8, 2013
  6. That is so true….we should live in the moment. Kids need our attention all the time. I just love spending time with my lil’ one :)

    November 8, 2013
    • They do need our attention all the time, it does get to be tiring sometimes though. I am trying to be more mindful of the effort I should put in, but it is an ongoing process.

      November 8, 2013
  7. cute story. i love a clean house, but it’s hard to do when you have kids. I don’t have kids so I have no excuse. :)

    November 8, 2013
    • Well, house with and without kids have very different definitions of clean. So yours is probably cleaner than mine on any given day.

      November 8, 2013
  8. Such a cute pic! I totally get you. You want to have a clean house first so then you can enjoy playing with your kid(s) without thinking of the house work at the back of your mind. I guess sometimes we have to try and forget it.

    November 9, 2013
    • Amelia a clean house and a kid in it just seem to be at odds. By the time I have conquered one room, there is a mess in the other :)

      November 12, 2013
  9. awee..such lovely scrambled eggs you had :-)
    It’s natural to feel overwhelmed and irritated but all is well when you come back to love each other. Stay blessed :-)

    November 10, 2013
    • Thank you for the kind words Sangeeta. I do love the scrambled eggs she makes and yea the strawberry milkshakes too.

      November 12, 2013
  10. I really have trouble living in the moment. As I write this Maya is playing a song on her recorder. AGAIN. It’s driving me bananas. I should embrace it but it’s not in me to do so.

    Will regret this in 5 minutes for sure.

    Hope you are having a great weekend!

    November 10, 2013
    • Yes! what is it with playing the same song a million times. I almost cringe when I see the car and think about the music I will have to endure during the drive.

      November 12, 2013
  11. I feel so much this same way. My two year old seems to be growing up too soon and yet, when there is work to do, I feel, when will she grow up to play by herself. I love the funny and crazy moments spent with her :)

    November 10, 2013
    • They do grow up too fast don’t they! Glad you are enjoying motherhood.

      November 12, 2013
  12. I have a slightly older clingy little one too And I know exactly how you felt. great read.

    November 10, 2013

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